So I recently went on my first ever sking holiday, as a 27 year old adult who has never skied before.
Ok, disclaimer - I had one lesson the week before I left, on the indoor slopes at Snow Factor Braehead. Although this was really useful in terms of getting a feel for the skis on my feet, learning how to put the boots/skis on and introducing me to the basic concepts of stopping, moving forwards/uphill, it didn't do much to prepare me for the reality of sking. Nothing can really prepare you for this. Once you're out there, on the mountain... it's miles away from anything you've experienced or imagined.
And despite everything people tell you and warn you about, no matter how well prepared you feel you might be, there are certain things you just have to discover for yourself. Here's a shortlist.
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Ok, disclaimer - I had one lesson the week before I left, on the indoor slopes at Snow Factor Braehead. Although this was really useful in terms of getting a feel for the skis on my feet, learning how to put the boots/skis on and introducing me to the basic concepts of stopping, moving forwards/uphill, it didn't do much to prepare me for the reality of sking. Nothing can really prepare you for this. Once you're out there, on the mountain... it's miles away from anything you've experienced or imagined.
And despite everything people tell you and warn you about, no matter how well prepared you feel you might be, there are certain things you just have to discover for yourself. Here's a shortlist.
20 Things I learned skiing
1. You freeze in places you didn't know you could
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| "The inside of my nostrils have frozen!" (This is a weirdly enjoyable feeling) |
2. Helmet hair is a real concern. As is post-mask face.
Wearing the helmet and mask is totally fine, if you like to feel like you're being suffocated. Takes some getting used to...
3. But ski gear is surprisingly fashionable.
3. But ski gear is surprisingly fashionable.
4. Walking/moving in ski boots is HARD.
And try carrying skis and poles at the same time, whilst wearing about 50 layers of clothing. Potentially a bigger struggle than the actual skiing.
5. Apres-ski is more amazing than you imagined it would be.
6. Carbs, carbs and then some more carbs....
7. You will fall over. A lot. You might have to get mountain rescued.
Tip: If you do happen to fall and actually injure yourself (especially your knee) don't try to be a hero and go out on the slopes again. Twice. (This will result in an embarrassing ride on the 'ski doo' followed by an even more embarrassing knee brace/bionic woman attachment)
8. Your ski instructor will be near-impossible to understand
"Ski more parallel!" is not the most helpful advice for a beginner...
9. Every ski school group will have one unbearably annoying member
They will hold everyone else up, have tantrums and constantly tell you you're doing it wrong.
They will hold everyone else up, have tantrums and constantly tell you you're doing it wrong.
10. Limoncello. Boozy hot chocolates. Tiramisu. And repeat.
11. Every part of you will hurt, everywhere. All the time.
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| Alcohol helps to ease the pain |
12. Walking home up the steepest hill of all time back to your apartment is a lot easier when you're drunk and singing loudly to an 'Independent Women' playlist.
13. You might see Bonnie Tyler.
(Or, loudly sing the lyrics to 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' walking past the apartment she's rumoured to be staying at at 2 in the morning...)
14. You learn to eat fast before your food instantly freezes
(beer stays cold for longer, though!)
15. You might play this game...
16. Don't be dramatic on the ski lift
It's not helpful.
17. The scenery will take your breath away
18. Ski shot, anyone?
19. You might see some wildlife on the mountain.
Your instructor will point out a mountain goat like animal called a chamois - you'll have no idea what this is and it's too far away to see but you'll get SO excited, take a million pictures and tell everyone about your 'wildlife sighting'.
20. You'll have the best time and leave feeling physically, emotionally, mentally (and financially) drained. But in the best way!
So, to conclude..
Alcohol, food, pain, emotional trauma, amazing scenery, ski fam bonding.
Is it worth it?
A resounding yes. It was one of the best holidays I've had and an experience I will never forget. Already planning next year's trip!
If you're interested, the resort I went to was Breuil-Cervinia and our accommodation was Residence Cervinia Due. We flew from London to Turin and the transfer took about an hour and a half (with whisky it felt less than that.)
