In these cases, it's easy to give up. Despair. How could this happen?! It seems so unfair. You did everything right, you took care and precaution and yet somehow you've ended up in a situation where you feel like you have failed. The important thing is not to let this feeling overcome you. Once the notion of failure sets in, it's hard to shake. But you should remember that failure happens to everyone, it's normal, it's human, and most of all: it is by no means the end.
The world that we live in is dominated by social media, celebrity and success: more and more we are expected to do more, earn more, achieve more, and further still we are expected to all this at a younger age. The pressures of being in your 20's is well documented: TV shows like Girls represent the challenges faced by the Y generation: having less opportunities coupled with more expectations = a recipe for an array of psychological problems and insecurities.
At times when you feel like the world around you is collapsing, it's a good idea to take stock, re-evaluate and try to imagine the bigger picture. Here are my tips which I have found help me personally. This is by no means a definitive list. Of course, being 23 myself I am still learning, my life is a continual process of new mistakes and experiences and working out the best way to deal with them. But, so far, these are some of the things I have found some comfort in.
1. Keep a diary
Writing down my thoughts in a personal diary is a calming, therapeutic way to vent any fears, worries or emotions. Writing it helps to give you an outlet; reading it back helps you re-assess and nine times out of ten you'll find, as I do, that you're problems don't look nearly as bad as you imagined them to be in your head!
2. Talk to friends
It could be something as simple as a funny text message from a close friend reminding you that "only thick people pass their driving test first time". Hearing supportive words from people who care about you will make you realize that you are your worst and only critic.
3. Lose yourself in something
Keeping busy is an important way to keep your mind from constantly re-living your mistakes and snowballing into another self-esteem black hole. If you don't feel like going out, even just gluing yourself to a marathon session of TV shows can be a good way of escaping your own head, if just for a while.
4. Think about your successes
Ok, so you're not perfect. But at least, you tried! Think of it less as a failure and more of a halfway step to success. Remember things you've achieved that you feel proud of.
5. Get very drunk
This one explains itself.
6. Eat chocolate / sweets / cake
7. Laugh!!
8. Buy something you want
Even if it's only a few pounds for a new lipstick or a magazine, the rush of spending money and the excitement of having something new will give you the boost you need
9. Challenge yourself
So you failed this time, but next time, you'll learn from this and you'll do better! Make a plan of action, make a list of make a promise to yourself to meet a goal.
10. Above all, remember...
things WILL get better! One of the main things I've learned in the past few years is just how quickly bad situations can turn into good ones. I really believe that everything does happen for a reason, because it proves itself to be true time and time again. Don't forget to make the most out of life's downs as well as its ups. Something I have often realized in retrospect is that many of the best times in my life were brought out of the worst times.
Life's too short to dwell on your own shortcomings- things are going to go wrong. A lot. Sometimes it will be your fault, sometimes it won't. But regardless, have fun and shake it up, make it fizzy, it's all you can do!
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